Master Shake

Hello, my name is Michael "raccoon rape pit " Umling
im 18, single, and straight
First things first, let me tell you im a pothead,and im a complete nerd through and through, but im the coolest nerd i know. I'm really relaxed and chill, im kinda childish, but im still one awesome motherfucker. I like to be the life of the party. I am currently training to become a pokemon master. Im a cancer, born on the 4th of July. I love music, both hearing it and playing it. Im true to my friends and love pirates. Videos games are the shit. Im trying to find that one special lady out there for me, but no luck yet.
Theres my name, personality, and a little about me, what more do you need to know?

Feel free to ask.




alakazams really are so smart

look at this guy


he’s literally been holding those spoons in his hands for four generations of pokemon in preparation for this


Foresight finally worked.

I could stand the sight of worms
And look at microscopic germs
But technicolor pachyderms
Is really too much for me.

(Source: anightmarefantasmic)

How to win “Guess Who?” in one move.